Three Ways to Make Me Even More Excited for 'Captain America: Civil War'

The release of the third Captain America movie, subtitled Civil War, is now less than a week away.  At risk of appearing unprofessional, or worse, jinxing it, I have to say it looks incredible.  I was a fan of Captain Steve "America" Rogers when he was boy scouting through the 1940's in a Joe Johnston period piece but there's no denying the Russo Brothers took it up a notch with the 2014 sequel Winter Soldier.  Chris Evans as Cap ended 2011's The First Avenger by falling into a cryogenic slumber, waking up just in time to team up with Iron Man and his mighty friends to fight aliens in The Avengers.  Winter Soldier brought him back down to Earth, forcing him to face his feelings about his time displacement while struggling with a new socio-politico-cultural landscape; put simply, Cap learns about libertarianism and Star Wars.  Now the team is back at it and splitting up.  Civil War sees Cap take up arms against his best frenemy Iron Man, effectively splitting the Avengers roster down the middle.  Did I mention this movie looks incredible (knock on wood)?  With only a week left until its release there are just a few things that could make me more excited for it than I already am.

Dustin Hoffman Could Be In It

If you removed all the superhero aspects of Winter Soldier you would still be left with one of the best political thrillers in decades.  It was very clearly influenced by movies of the same kind from the 1970's like Three Days of the Condor, Marathon Man, and All the President's Men.  That's what makes the casting of Robert Redford as the villain particularly inspired.  Not only is he ridiculously talented and capable of conveying a chilling authoritativeness, but he played the protagonists of two of the three movies I just mentioned, Three Days of the Condor and All the President's Men.  In the former, he was joined by Dustin Hoffman, who also starred in Marathon Man.

All The President's Men is more exciting than it seems.

I consider those two living legends as representative for the genre of political thriller as John Wayne is for Westerns or Chadwick Boseman is for biopics.  I absolutely love Redford's role in Winter Soldier and I would be delighted if Hoffman made an appearance in Civil War or the inevitable fourth in the series.

The Promotional Material Could Stop Asking Me to Choose A Side

One way Winter Soldier stands out from the rest of the Marvel Cinematic Universe is its political subtext, namely the topics of privacy and drone warfare.  That kind of thing isn't exactly new to the MCU (the first Iron Man movie is a hop, skip, and jump away from being directed by Kathryn Bigelow) but that aspect fell between the cracks for a while.  The topicality of Winter Soldier is another of the many reasons I love it even if I'm far from a savvy Washington insider.  Although, I'm not exactly ignorant either.  I'll put it like this: I know enough about the current election to be very anxious about it and I have been for months.  Again, I'm not really an expert but if you're looking for an endorsement, I'll tell you that in the primaries I wrote in "So, that's a definite 'no' on Joe Biden running?" even though there wasn't a write-in option.  Now Marvel's two most political characters are going head to head and the marketing team really wants people to choose a side.

The time is now — let the world know who you stand with. You never know who’s listening… https://t.co/ZOvwuL2Obk

— Captain America (@CaptainAmerica) April 11, 2016

I usually try to avoid movie promotion so I can go into the theater knowing as little as possible but this time I'm also putting off any decision making until both candidates characters can make their case.  Regardless, I spend a lot of time on the internet reading about movie news so I already know more about this film than I would like.  As far as I can tell, Captain America is pretty libertarian like I said before and Iron Man is pro-government.  It's like choosing between Paradoxically Rich Bernie Sanders and Benjamin Button Ron Paul.  (If I meant Young Ron Paul I would have said Rand Paul.  I mean someone who is technically very old but looks young and has a slight Brad Pitt vibe.)  So, there's no chance of getting Joe Biden in one of those metal suits?

Captain America Could Be Wrong

I watched Captain America: The First Avenger last night just in case I missed something the first five times.  I've seen it more than any other MCU movie because, frankly, I'm a sucker for the boy-scouty borderline sanctimonious type characters.  I like Punisher and Deadpool as much as the next guy but my favorites have always been the most righteous, Cap, Superman, Spider-Man, Nightcrawler from the X-Men.  Nite Owl is my favorite character from Watchmen.  That's freaking insane!  Like, Rorschach from Watchmen level crazy.  I just prefer superheroes who are unabashedly heroic.  That's why I am deeply troubled when creators try to reinvent these characters by making them raging jagweeds.  On the other hand, every time I've watched The First Avenger something has stood out to me.  Doctor Abraham Erskine tells Cap that the serum he created, the serum that turns whimpy Steve into the Vitruvian wet dream and turns Nazi scientist Johann Schmidt into the face of literally everyone's nightmares, "amplifies everything that is inside, good becomes great, bad becomes worse."

He started off with an orange face.

He isn't just talking about the physical.  The whole point of the conversation is that Steve was chosen for the experiment because of his moral fiber but even I have to admit it would be boring if he were perfect.  That means he has to have faults and those faults would be as magnified as his moxie and his chiseled jawline.  The last thing I want is for Cap to go full villain, just for his imperfections to be highlighted a bit more.  For all I know, that could be exactly what happens in Civil War.  I'm confident that a movie pitting two heroes against each other will contain at least a bit of moral relativity but that's a difficult thing to exhibit in any number of trailers.  I predict that his fatal flaw will be his conviction that the ends justify the means.  He is introduced in First Avenger as he is committing fraud to trick the United States Military into accepting someone wholly unqualified, albeit for noble reasons.  In Winter Soldier he admits to Nick Fury during an argument that after he entered the war he and his brothers in arms crossed the line at times, just not to the extent and for the reasons that Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D. were planning with Project Insight.  I would be thoroughly impressed to see that trait lead Steve astray without destroying the heart of the character.  If anyone can pull it off its the team that made Winter Soldier.




Side note: I would also like to point out that Anthony Mackie appeared in a decent remake of what I consider the greatest political thriller of all time, The Manchurian Candidate.

3 Westerns Due for a Remake After 'The Magnificent Seven'

A trailer was just released for the remake of the classic Western The Magnificent Seven.  The ensemble piece has big boots to fill, especially considering the 1960 version had to fit into the clown shoes of its inspiration, the Japanese masterpiece Seven Samurai by legendary director Akira Kurosawa.  John Sturges managed to follow up Kurosawa with an amazing cast and with action and adventure in the place of Samurai's incredible artistry.  Now Antoine Fuqua is walking in Sturges' footsteps just as Denzel Washington, Ethan Hawke and Chris Pratt walk in those of Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, and Charles Bronson.  This time Fuqua is adding a taste of excessive violence to the recipe.  When one is remaking a classic movie for the second time it's a good idea to at least put a new spin on it.  Possibly, The Magnificent Seven could be part of the beginning of a new age for Westerns, along with The Hateful Eight and The Revenant.  If that's going to include remakes I can think of a few more opportunities for a good spin.

High Plains Drifter

Westerns have become a shorthand for moral simplicity.  There are good guys in white hats and bad guys in black hats.  They draw pistols at dawn and the bad guys hit the dirt at a minute past dawn.  Of course, that's a broad interpretation.  There are plenty of Westerns with more complicated ethics.  On the far end of that spectrum is High Plains Drifter.  Directed by and starring Clint Eastwood, Drifter appears to be about justice but a more specific code of ethics is harder to pin down.  There's barely a character worth rooting for to be found.  It's hard to tell if that was intentional or if writer Ernest Tidyman is just entirely lacking in scruples.  Either way, there are good reasons why the movie has become a classic.  It's well directed and much stranger than your typical cowboy picture, making it a prime example of what Wikipedia calls "Weird West."  A remake of High Plains Drifter with the same touch of the supernatural but a just slightly better defined sense of morality could be really fascinating.

Wild Wild West

If someone says "steampunk spy Western" the obvious reply should be "how do you mess that up?"  It seems impossible but it happened in 1999.  Not only that, but Wild Wild West is remembered as one of the biggest bombs in Hollywood history.  The script was awful and totally unfunny, a complete waste of the comic talents of Kevin Kline and Will Smith.  I know that sounds like a Deadpool review from someone who "just doesn't get it" but like I said, history has my back here.  The worst part is that the TV show the movie is based on was genuinely pretty good but now has been almost entirely overshadowed by the trainwreck of a movie.  It was created in the mid-60's when cowboys were on their way out and spies were on the way in.  Producer Michael Garrison had the idea to put James Bond in stirrups.  The result was one of the strangest but coolest TV shows ever made.  This could be the perfect time to bring The Wild Wild West back to its original glory in its original format.  Not only because Westerns are on the rise in the "golden age of television," but also because the perfect actor to play the villain is in the prime of his career.  The show's main antagonist Dr. Miguelito Loveless was played by Michael Dunn, one of the most accomplished dwarf actors ever and he opened a lot of doors for little people in film and television.  Now, Peter Dinklage is a major star and he's fantastic at playing villains like Bolivar Trask in X-Men: Days of Future Past.  A new version of The Wild Wild West with better writing and Dinklage as the mad scientist is practically begging to be made.

Jonah Hex

There was a time when gunslingers had a bigger presence in comic books than superheroes did.  Jonah Hex is the most prominent remnant of that time.  He's a bounty hunter with a horribly scarred face.  There isn't much more to him than that.  A character that simple calls for a simple approach. In this case, a mostly good guy battles very bad guys.  Instead the 2010 movie is stuffed with a lot of bad ideas in a much too long hour and a half.  There was a time when six years wasn't long enough to wait for a remake but Jonah Hex is as deserving of the benefits of the film industry's current "try, try again" method as anyone.  Then again, it might be better off with a sequel that simply pretends its predecessor doesn't exist.  Much like last year's Fantastic Four, Jonah Hex has too good of a cast to waste.  Josh Brolin plays the title character with Megan Fox as his love interest and John Malkovich as the villain.  Michael Fassbender even manages to almost make his scenes watchable as Malkovich's deranged, grinning lieutenant.  If the superhero bubble really is on the brink of popping just as the Western one did, maybe this is the perfect time to give old Jonah another shot.  Send out the golden age of comic book movies by combining them with the Western just as the Western once fused with the espionage thriller.  This time just skip the random fight club snake man.

6 Guns N' Roses Songs that Should Be on the 'Jungle Book' Soundtrack

This weekend Disney is releasing their live-action/CGI remake of the beloved animated film The Jungle Book.  Everything from the very first trailer has looked amazing.  The computer generated animal population of the titular jungle, who make up almost the entire cast except for the young protagonist Mowgli, look absolutely spectacular.  Director Jon Favreau has been more or less out of the limelight since his 2011 flop Cowboys & Aliens but this could be just the thing to put him back on top; back where he was after the unequivocal success of Iron Man in 2008.  A major part of that movie's appeal was the grounded but breathtaking special effects.  Now the CGI is taking center stage in a way that hasn't been done to this scale and this well since Avatar.  Of course, this is Disney so likely the biggest challenge for both filmmakers and audiences is the suspension of disbelief surrounding talking animals no matter how well animated.  Fortunately, these beasts are voiced by an outstanding cast including Bill Murray, Lupita Nyong'o, Ben Kingsley, Idris Elba and Scarlett Johansson.  The biggest disappointment for many is likely the decreased part music plays in comparison to the 1967 animated musical version.  Coincidentally, one of the biggest stories in music news this year is the reunion of the classic Guns N' Roses lineup of their peak in the late 80's and early 90's.  For some reason I can't help but feel that Guns N' Roses would make an excellent compensation to the Jungle Book soundtrack, if only their lyrics were a little more Disney friendly.  Here are a few GNR songs that would go well with The Jungle Book (with a bit of censorship) based on what I remember from the animated version.

From the iconic music video "Welcome to the Chapel"

Sweet Child o' Mine

The main character of The Jungle Book is Mowgli, a child who was lost in the wilderness as an infant.  He is fortunate enough to be found by some of the more gentle members of the wildlife.  A pack of wolves welcome him into their home in the jungle and raise him, which is apparently a much better way to go than the common use of that idiom would lead you to believe.  Mowgli grows into a kind, strong, and curious boy.  That likely wouldn't be the case without the love and care of his adopted lupine parents.  If you want a song about parentage, look no farther than the Guns N' Roses hit "Sweet Child o' Mine."  Unless "Cat's in the Cradle" is farther.  Or "Surrender" by Cheap Trick.  Or "Danny's Song" by Loggins and Messina.  Barring those, "Sweet Child o' Mine" is one of the better songs that is vaguely about parental relationships.  Although, it's hard to be sure if it's about parental or romantic love and considering that there's any uncertainty at all makes either option pretty creepy.  Regardless, it really is a great song, as evidenced by its status as the number one way for closed off teenage boys to acknowledge the possibility that they might have emotions for nineteen years running.  Also, The Jungle Book has a prevailing sense of lostness and wandering that is similarly evoked by the song's ending, with frontman Axl Rose succinctly asking "Where do we go now?"

Out Ta Get Me

As Robert Frost once said, "nothing gold can stay."  Mowgli's oddly domestic life must come to an end when the vicious Shere Khan makes his return like an outlaw in the Wild West.  Mowgli is forced to flee from the tiger and his taste for human flesh.  He is escorted by the stern but loving panther Bagheera back to the world of man.  More than ever before Mowgli faces the true peril of life in the wilderness.  He is hunted from every direction, not just by Shere Khan but also by a bumbling python and an ape who wants to be people.  That feeling of constant danger is echoed by a Guns N' Roses song called "Out Ta Get Me," one of the lesser known tracks from the band's iconic debut Appetite for Destruction.  In the song's defense, it's hard to stand out on an album than includes "Sweet Child o' Mine," "Paradise City," and others.  It's about Rose's fear of the police as a delinquent teenager in Indiana.  There isn't much law to be found in the jungle but the song's atmosphere of vulnerability and the need for escape would still ring familiar to Mowgli.

Catcher In The Rye

The boy is able to survive his journey largely thanks to the help of Bagheera and the panther's comic foil Baloo, the chillest bear who ever lived.  His two dads have wildly different philosophies on life and parenting but they are able to put that aside to protect their adopted son.  They're the people who can find whatever he may need.  Preservation of innocence is a major theme in J.D. Salinger's classic novel The Catcher in the Rye, which inspired a song on Guns N' Roses' 2008 album Chinese Democracy.  The record was largely considered a disappointment thanks to a long wait and the absence of founding guitarist Slash and bassist Duff McKagan but "Catcher In The Rye" was one of the more memorable tracks.

Hair of the Dog (Nazareth cover)

Eventually the time had to come when Mowgli confronted Shere Khan face to face.  With a little help from his friends, his wits, and the elements the boy manages to get the better of an objectively stronger foe.  He brings the feline ferocity to his sha na na na knees in a thrilling conflict.  It's a perfect time for a down and dirty rock song, of which Guns N' Roses has plenty but the best choice for this occasion is their cover of Nazareth's "Hair of the Dog."  It's a highlight of GNR's cover album The Spaghetti Incident? released in 1993.  You've probably heard it before.  It's an amusing ditty with a chorus of "now you're messing with / a son of bitch."  Get it?  "Hair" sounds like "heir."  It's an especially triumphant song for Mowgli, who was raised by a female canine, making him a literal son of bitch.

Don't Cry

Finally, Mowgli makes it to the "Man-Village" where he is greeted into the town by a girl, the likes of which he's never seen before.  In a bittersweet moment he leaves his friends and family behind for a new life with his own kind and the looming threat of puberty.  Bagheera and Baloo watch him leave then turn to the sight of their empty nest of a jungle.  Tonally, the scene is similar to the ballad "Don't Cry," which appears on both parts of the double album Use Your Illusion.  Like "Sweet Child," it's probably about a romantic relationship, specifically a break-up, but it could almost be about a parent watching their child grow up with lines like "something's changing inside you" and "you gotta make it your own way."

Epilogue: Move To The City

Since the 1967 film's release there have been a few stories exploring Mowgli's life after his return to human civilization.  Long story short, he learns that man's world isn't all it cracked up to be.  It ironically resembles the likely autobiographical story of GNR's "Move To The City," in which a young person escapes their troubled small town life in favor of the big city, only to find out just how harsh and cruel the world can be when you're young and alone.  It calls to mind this video to another GNR obscurity.  Fortunately, the direct-to-VHS Jungle Book 2 has a much happier ending.  Still, Guns N' Roses couldn't pair better with The Jungle Book if they had a song with the word "jungle" in the title.

What You Want to Know About Fillory, The 'Narnia' of 'The Magicians'

On Monday the magicians are finally going to Fillory, which means The Magicians is transitioning from "Harry Potter for adults" to "Chronicles of Narnia for adults."  In the first episode of The Magicians the series' protagonist Quentin Coldwater is told that his studies at the supernatural graduate school Brakebills are unimportant because he won't be there for very long.  Therefore it isn't much of a spoiler to say that in Lev Grossman's novels the place Quentin goes to afterwards and spends much more of his time is the Narnia facsimile Fillory (although the border of spoiler territory will be walked along and perhaps crossed from this point forward).

Fillory arguably plays a larger role in The Magicians book series than Brakebills does.  Little details about Fillory have been sprinkled through the show so far and there will certainly be a lot of exposition in the episode but this is a whole new world we're talking about.  Naturally there's going to be a lot of new information to fit into a small amount of time.  If you know about Narnia a lot of Fillory will feel familiar but there are some very important differences.  I'm happy to offer the benefit of my knowledge as someone who has read the books, not least out of envy for those who have read A Song of Ice and Fire.

Of course, the TV show is far from a direct adaptation of the books so all of this should be taken with a grain of salt.  Many of the same conclusions are reached but in a different order on the timeline, and both timelines go in the same direction.  At this point of the TV series that direction is towards Fillory so it would make sense for the televised events in this magical land to be similar to the literary ones.  However, if you saw the last episode I can understand assuming that the show and books are two different branches of the same clock tree but that seems unlikely since both time loops end in different ways.

Now, about Fillory.  The most important thing to know is that Fillory is very dangerous.  Narnia has wars and curses and evil witches but it isn't very scary.  Somehow it's easy to imagine yourself getting by just fine.  In Fillory it is obvious that anything could happen.  People get hurt.  Some might be tempted to call it gritty and/or realistic but that's not really it.  It would be more accurate to say it's simply deeply flawed.

The magical land's imperfection is probably best personified by its deities.  Instead of Aslan, Narnia's messianic lion, Fillory is guarded over by two rams named Ember and Umber and they're both kind of dicks.  They're not at all the kind to willingly sacrifice themselves or their only begotten sons.  Also, they have peanut shaped eyes.  It's very important to Lev Grossman that you know that sheep have peanut shaped eyes.

Speaking of John and his third sixteenth, C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia are famously full of Christian allegory.  At one point Aslan implies that he is Jesus Christ himself in another form by another name in a different world.  In The Magicians, on the other hand, Grossman explores a much broader view of religion, philosophy, and spirituality.  If there's one defining doctrine of Fillory it's an anecdote about turtles.  It goes like this: A woman interrupts a scientist's lecture, (let's say it was Neil Degrasse Tyson just for example) and she says "This is nonsense.  Any logical person can see that the world is flat and sits on the shell of a giant turtle."  Tyson says, "Okay, I'll bite, what's that turtle standing on?" in that smug way he has about him.  The woman then replies "Nice try, but obviously it's turtles all the way down."

In the TV series, much like the books, spirituality plays a major part, especially in Julia's story arc.  However, the series skips over a particularly violent scene in her journey.  That brings me back to the aspect of Fillory that is most deserving of forewarning; it can be a vicious place.  I assume that Julia had such a pleasant interaction with Our Lady Underground because the real pain is coming in the finale.  If you don't care for that kind of think you might want to brace yourself.

Although, there's one way that Narnia and Fillory are very similar: they are both magical.  I don't just mean that magic is involved.  I mean that under the violence and the dickishness there is something truly childlike and wondrous.  Fillory provides a home to the Brakebills alumni and helps shape them into better, stronger people.  It has talking animals and wise old warriors and magnificent quests.  If the on screen arrival of Fillory is anything like the books it will be savage and gut-wrenching but marvelous and I can't wait.

Peter Dinklage's Best Comedy Performances

Tomorrow night Peter Dinklage, the breakout star of Game of Thrones, will host Saturday Night Live for the first time.  First timers typically don't get as much to do as the more experienced hosts like Alec Baldwin and Melissa McCarthy but Dinklage will probably excel with what he has, as he usually does.  His Thrones character Tyrion Lannister became a fan favorite of the fantasy epic largely through his sharp wit, but for the most part it is a dramatic role.  There are plenty of other performances that better showcase Dinklage's comedic prowess, starting with a guest appearance on a McCarthy hosted episode of SNL from 2013.  I present to you, Peter Drunklage.

Elf

In 2003 director Jon Favreau did the impossible by crafting a new Christmas classic.  Elf was also a highlight of Will Ferrell's early career, portraying not a drunken buffoon but an endearingly child like and kindhearted buffoon.  Ferrell played a human who was raised in the North Pole as an elf and made his return to the unmagical world of New York City in search of his birth father, played by James Caan.  He found him as a heartless cog in a children's book producing corporate machine.  That's where Dinklage comes in.  He played a celebrated children's author with a coarse disposition by the name of Miles Finch doing a favor for Caan's character.  Ferrell's Buddy barged into a conference room to find Finch and earnestly believed him to be a transplant from Santa's workshop.  Finch does not take it well.  His pure rage could rival that of Tyrion Lannister or any other resident of Westeros.  It provides a stark contrast to Ferrell's naive enthusiasm creating one of the most memorable moments from a perennial standard.

Seinfeld - "The Wink"

One of Dinklage's first roles was in an episode of Seinfeld, although his face never appeared on the iconic sitcom.  He provided the voice behind Elaine Benes's wake up service, a man named James.  When the character appeared on screen for his date with Elaine he was played by Brian McNamara but she wouldn't have been there if Dinklage's dulcet voice hadn't seduced her in the first place.  It takes a lot of guts to hit on someone first thing in the morning and even more charm to pull it off.

Especially since Elaine isn't exactly a morning person.

By borrowing Dinklage's golden vocal chords James easily manages to win over Elaine and has his most memorable scene in the episode.

30 Rock - "Señor Macho Solo"

Tina Fey and Julia Louis-Dreyfuss have a lot in common, as they explained at the 2007 Emmys.  Peter Dinklage is one of the fortunate few, if not the only one, who has been romantically involved with both of their most famous characters.  Almost fifteen years after phone-flirting with Louis-Dreyfuss's Elaine he dated Fey's Liz Lemon in person.  Unfortunately it was another case of dwarfism being mistaken for something else.  Season three of 30 Rock saw Liz taking a more active interest in settling down and starting a family.  Her preoccupation with children led her to toussle the hair of what appeared from behind to be a child but was actually a suave United Nations employee named Stewart LaGrange.  To hide her faux pas Liz let Stewart believe that she was hitting on him and he proceeded to charm her as Dinklage is wont to do.  Eventually he realized the truth and their affair ended much as it began.

It's the kind of role Dinklage really excels at, where his dwarfism is a part of the character but not definitively and those who fail to realize that wind up looking like dummies, in some cases dead dummies.  Likewise, it would be ill advised to underestimate Peter Dinklage when he's on the SNL stage.