What is Stan Lee's cameo in 'Civil War?'

Since the very beginning of this age of superhero cinema legendary comic book writer Stan Lee has been making cameos in movies based on characters he created.  If you forget about Blade (as many often do) you can credit X-Men with kicking things off back in 2000 and Stan Lee was right there on the beach selling hot dogs.  Ever since, his gloriously mustachioed face has been in almost every Marvel movie and TV show, even animated ones.  He appeared in the after-credits scene of the "even more for children than usual" superhero movie Big Hero Six.  Thus far he hasn't shown up in person in Netflix's gritty "probably not for children at all" Daredevil and Jessica Jones series but his picture can be seen hanging on the wall of Hell's Kitchen's local police station.  The Stan Lee cameos are so revered a tradition for Marvel that the Russo Brothers made it one of the first scenes they shot for the newly in theaters Captain America: Civil War.  If you're anything like me, exposing the nature of the Stan Lee cameo is a spoiler of the highest order and should be punished to the full extent of the law.  However, that won't stop me from making a few semi-serious guesses.

A Janitor

The most common kind of Stan Lee cameo is the "guy just doing his job."  Take the beach hot dog vendor in X-Men for instance, or the oblivious librarian in The Amazing Spider-Man.  More often than not these men are dressed in a sharp uniform.  Lee played a security guard in Hulk and Captain America: Winter Soldier.  He was a mailman in Fantastic Four and an U.S. General in Captain America: The First Avenger.  Captain America is a soldier by his very nature, so it makes since for Stan to be in military garb but that's been done.  Civil War is a battle between heroes and it promises destruction.  Someone has to be picking up the debris left by these super battles, maybe Civil War is the perfect time to reveal the working class stiff who's been sweeping up after the Avengers for all these years.  Although, that's also been done but only in the cartoon Ultimate Spider-Man.  

Phil Sheldon

Speaking of working stiffs, the idea of a genuine every-man living in a world of superheroes was explored to perfection in the 1994 graphic novel Marvels by Kurt Busiek and Alex Ross.  It follows the life of photographer Phil Sheldon from the late 30's to the mid 70's as he witnesses firsthand the major events of the Marvel Universe.  One memorable scene puts Phil in the middle of a battle between Namor the Submariner and The Human Torch (an android of no relation to The Fantastic Four).  Through Phil's eyes the reader witnesses a true battle of titans and an early example of heroes fighting each other.  Over time, as Phil loses his hair and grows a mustache, he begins to look not unlike Stan Lee.  The tribulations of Phil Sheldon as played by Stan Lee could make an excellent sub-sub-plot in Civil War.

J. Jonah Jameson

If Stan Lee is going to play a comic book character it might as well be one of the countless horde that he created, like he did in 2005 as Willie Lumpkin, the mailman to the Fantastic Four.  Better yet, he could play one that he based on himself and has specifically expressed a desire to portray.  That character is J. Jonah Jameson, publisher of the newspaper The Daily Bugle, frequent employer of Peter Parker and extremely outspoken critic of Parker's alter-ego Spider-Man.  As you probably know, the newest incarnation of the wall-crawler is debuting in Civil War.  Conveniently, Marvel has something of a J. Jonah Jameson casting dilemma.  Not only would any actor be playing a beloved character, but one that was already played exquisitely by J.K. Simmons in Sam Raimi's Spider-Man trilogy.  Simmons as Jameson didn't just steal every scene he was in, he acted as if he owned the whole movie all along and it's hard to disagree with him.  He remains one of the most fondly remembered parts of an incredibly beloved and acclaimed film series.  Rumor has it that JJJ didn't appear in the The Amazing Spider-Man because of the difficulty of replacing Simmons.  Perhaps Stan Lee is the only person who can pull it off, with his hammy charm and the novelty of it all.  He is generally much more cheerful than the irascible JJJ but he definitely has the 'stache for it.

An Actual Pimp

Another common type of Stan Lee cameo is the "man surrounded by young, attractive women," a way to capitalize on his slightly-creepy-but-equally-sweet-flirty-old-guy vibe.  In Guardians of the Galaxy he is seen hitting on a Xandarian woman, prompting Rocket Raccoon to call him "a class A pervert."  In Iron Man Tony Stark mistakes him for Hugh Hefner and in Iron Man 3 he plays a zealous beauty pageant judge.  The most extreme case is in Deadpool, where Lee plays a strip club DJ.  The next logical step is for him to play an actual pimp.  It seems a little out of place for a superhero movie, but Captain America is the most political Avenger and that means pushing the envelope.

Bernie Sanders

Or, slightly more likely, a Bernie Sanders look-a-like.  Iron Man and Iron Man 2 both see Tony Stark mistaking Lee for other white-haired old men, Hugh Hefner and Larry King respectively.  Iron Man 3 went in a different direction, I assume to avoid wearing out the joke and because there are only so many men who fit the profile.  Enough time has passed now that another mistaken identity cameo wouldn't feel so familiar.  Coincidentally, another silver fox has recently entered the zeitgeist, the sweetheart of the Presidential election, Bernie Sanders.  Unfortunately, Stan shot his cameo almost a year ago and Bernie didn't enter the race until about a month later.  However, that's just going by Wikipedia and several news sources.  I actually lived it and I'm fairly certain this election cycle has been going on for seven years and three months.  That's plenty of time for Bernie to have won the hearts and minds of not enough people to beat Hillary but enough to make an impact worthy of a brief reference in Civil War, which promises to be very political.  Although, there are a few other options in the "mistaken identity" category; Regis Philbin and Alex Trebek  come to mind.