♫I'd like to buy the world a coke♫Guess who just finished Mad Men? I'll give you a hint. He's got a dumb blog and now he has to explain the concept of a dumb feature on it for the eighth time, a duty that has just become even more complicated than it was before.
I think the only way to tell this story is with a sparse use of flashback. The time is spring, 1992. The world is enthralled by the latest moving picture, White Men Can't Jump. Now we skip forward, but still not to the present. The time is late summer, 2015. Cinema is dying and in its place Television is growing in both popularity and artistic merit. Our hero has just begun to enjoy one of the most acclaimed Television series of the era, Mad Men. He partakes in this endeavor even though he is just weeks from a brand new batch of series arriving, many of which will call for the time he has just devoted to Mad Men. He decides to rate these series based on their capacity to distract him from the beloved period piece. Now we arrive in the present, roughly a year later. Our hero finishes watching Mad Men just as a new fall TV season is about to begin, but has committed to this feature on his blog so he must find a new measuring stick.
That stick shall be the legendary science fiction franchise known as Star Trek. Our handsome and debonair protagonist has seen about five sixths of the late 60's original series that started it all and one season of the reboot Next Generation that premiered in the 1980's. In honor of the recently celebrated fiftieth anniversary of The Original Series he has decided to finally commit and make Star Trek his number one Netflix priority. First, he will finish the last half of the last season of Kirk and Bones and Spock's 3/5 year mission, then watch The Animated Series in its short entirety, then the remaining six seasons of The Next Generation, and so on, as well as any motion pictures in between. This seems like a good time to remind the audience that our hero has been calling himself a hero this whole time. And now, he begins this many, many, many years mission to watch strange new TV shows and offer brief opinions on them and rate them based on whether or not he'd rather watch them over Star Trek.
Better Things
Since 2011 Pamela Adlon has helped Louis C.K. make his show one of the best things on TV and now he is returning the favor as producer and co-writer for Adlon's starring vehicle. Adlon's character is named Sam instead of Pam, but aside from that the show is mostly based on her own life. Sam is an actress of both face and voice (you probably know Adlon's voice as Bobby from King of the Hill or any number of other cartoons), and she is raising three daughters alone. Better Things is funny and sweet and full of fun cameos from people like Julie Bowen and Constance Zimmer. Better Things is more accessible than Louie and every bit as funny.
Star Trek threat level: 7/10
Atlanta
I can't tell you how relieved I am to discover that Donald Glover is still funny. Once one of our generation's most promising comics and star of the hilarious cult classic NBC sitcom Community, Glover has spent the last few years focusing on his career as sensitive guy hip-hop guru Childish Gambino. As the creator and star of Atlanta, Glover brings humor and heart to an exploration of his hometown, the epicenter of Southern hip-hop. Glover plays Earnest "Earn" Marks, a smart, enterprising guy with a crappy job and a baby daughter, who involves himself in his cousin's rising rap career. Alfred "Paper Boi" Miles, Earnest's cousin played by Brian Tyree Henry, has more street cred than Earn but isn't sure he wants it. Keith Stanfield, Straight Outta Compton's Snoop Dogg, plays the goofy stoner philosopher Darius at the head of Paper Boi's entourage, of which he might be the only member. Also, the city of Atlanta is another character but let's just pretend I didn't say that weird pretentious thing even though it's kind of true, I hate myself.
Star Trek threat level: 9/10
One Mississippi
Tig Notaro has become one of the greatest comedians of our time by telling deeply personal stories. She's the living embodiment of "tragedy + time = comedy." In her new Amazon series One Mississippi she's using that equation to create a hilarious and beautifully heart-wrenching narrative. The show follows Notaro as herself, recovering from cancer and a mastectomy, returning to her hometown so she, her brother and her step-father can take her mother off of life support. That's one hell of a first episode. Few stand-up comics take to acting with any grace but Notaro is like a fish in the water. Tig's characteristic deadpan is complimented by John Rothman as her cartoonishly stoic step-father and balanced by Casey Wilson as her very L.A. girlfriend Brooke. All of this is based on Notaro's actual experiences, allowing her to create the latest in her long line of profoundly honest comedy.
Star Trek threat level: 6.5/10
Queen Sugar
For a while it seemed like OWN would be the closest Oprah would ever come to failure but Big O's TV network seems to be turning around thanks to director Ava DuVernay. Oprah appeared in DuVernay's incredible film debut Selma, which likely led the way to Harpo Productions' Queen Sugar. The series follows a family based in Louisiana that is brought together in the wake of tragedy. The premise seems familiar and the first episode is a little rocky but it also contains several moments of absolute brilliance. The whole cast is great but True Blood's Rutina Wesley especially shines with a grace and subtlety unimaginable on the campy vampire funstercluck. All in all, Queen Sugar has the makings to be the greatest Southern drama of our time.
Star Trek threat level: 7/10
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