_thony: Thor and the Many Uses of a Hammer

In the first Thor movie Odin says that his son's hammer Mjolnir "can be used as a weapon to destroy or a tool to build.” (At least, I think he does. I deleted my recording so the only evidence I could find of that line is from someone's blog post about a Bible verse.) However, in the past month or so I have seen both Thor movies and The Avengers and I don't remember Thor ever building anything. Regardless, there's no denying that a hammer can have a variety of uses. Mjolnir was recently revealed as a potential shaving device.

This makes me wonder just how versatile a hammer can be, so I've decided to try out the known uses of a hammer and experiment with a few of my own.

First I used the hammer as a tool to build, something Thor could apparently never do. I was pleased with the results. I definitely recommend a hammer if you're planning on building anything in the future. I made this handy cup holder. It works great and I can see myself using it a lot in the future.

5/5 hammers.

Next I used the hammer as a weapon of destruction. I utterly decimated the cup holder I had just worked so hard on in a matter of seconds. Although a hammer is quite distinct from a sword it does have something in common with a double edged sword in that it is double edged. Odin was right, a hammer is good for destruction.

5/5 hammers.

I also tried using a hammer to shave my face. I'm usually an electric razor kind of guy but I was willing to try going manual for my research. I'm sorry to say that the hammer performed poorly as a shaving device. I have just as much hair on my face as I did before. However, I was worried that with my limited experience with manual razors I might cut myself but that didn't happen. It was a perfectly smooth shaving experience.

3/5 hammers.

Thor uses his hammer to propel him in flight. He spins it around and throws it then he flies because that's Stan Lee's idea of scientific accuracy. I attempted to use the same method to replicate Thor's flight but it was ineffective. I barely got a few inches off the ground. I'm sorry to say that Stan Lee may have been incorrect. (That's not going to stop me from sacrificing myself so he can absorb my youth if he asks, though.)

1/5 hammers.

Thor also uses his hammer to summon lightning and channel the electricity. When I attempted the same I failed to summon any lightning. Because I could not summon any lightning I did not have an opportunity to test the hammer's ability to channel and redirect electricity. Therefore, I have no evidence to suggest that had lightning struck the hammer I could not redirect it at my discretion.

2/5 hammers. Plausible.

I had the idea to try using the hammer as a phone. I spoke into it and no one responded. I tried a few more numbers and got the same results.

1/5 hammers.

I used the hammer as a bookmark. After placing the hammer between the last page I read and the next I closed the book. I was pleased to find the hammer stayed in that location. I could have easily returned to that page at any moment.

4/5 hammers.

Using a hammer as a hat rack proved difficult. When I first put the hat on the rack it fell over. It worked fine on the second try but 50% is not an acceptable statistic from a hat rack, which I expect to be consistent. Even when it held steady I don't think it could hold much more than one hat.

1/5 hammers.

I find that as a remote control a hammer gives you what you need, not what you want. I tried to change the channel from an episode of How I Met Your Mother and the hammer refused to let me. I had no choice but to watch the entirety of what was left of the episode and I just laughed and laughed. This hammer really knows good television.

5/5 hammers.